The fire of our essence, the flavor of our purpose, the finish line of our earthly race.
I searched for this in my mother's eyes, looking intensely to find my confidence,
Dwelling on her every word for the growth of myself esteem and trusting in her knowledge of me before my own self-awareness.
But to her, I didn't exist.
Not that I didn't exist, but I didn't exist how I wanted to exist; she didn't cheer up my skills.
My questions about what life was and how to go about it often went unanswered, I became more confused, and I searched my insides for what I felt I deserved.
Fulfillment! Recognition!! Acknowledgment!!!
Class after class, I pass unnoticed.
What must I do to grab the attention I crave?
I cast my lust on awards, accomplishments.
The more I crave, the lesser I obtained it
I must be good at something! One-thing!! Anything!!!
How do I find myself? When did I, if I did, lose myself?
I long to know the place I belong, so I run to mother. If they don't love me, she should.
I thought she was a compass amidst the pressure, to lead me to my throne of purpose.
I doubt if I am unique as they quote we all are, I have now figured that no one understands this place called earth.
She didn't know how to un-neglect me; she only wishes I would be less confused and find my strength, motioning with actions I thought as hate that "I will need my strength and endurance."
She was saying life is a jungle maze; she was using war to teach me peace, inner peace! I needed to find myself; I needed that to be one and whole, because then and only then will "they" look towards my direction.
She said the world is filled with quiet people with rowdy thoughts, smiling through their teeth, walking but collapsed in mind.
Zombies! All zombies!!!
She was saying I don't need her to find me; I need peace. And only when I do find her (peace), even she will acknowledge me.
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