I wake up every morning with hope to be loved, to laugh with a full heart, live a day with no regrets. But that seems no true for me even for a single day. *Love is a war* — a war which destroys every chamber of your heart into pieces. Your brain, your thoughts are fighting with love every second of the day. A battle inside your body which no one can see, no one can feel. An abnormal, annoying and anxious behaviour of mind making you live nowhere.
Love inside me full of experiences and expectations want him to be there always with me. In my arms, in my talk, in my mind, on my lips. But it seems to be no truth. Grow up, come out of this fantasy world, be practical! Those words what I get in exchange for my love. My soul wants to be loved by him every second. The heart is not ready to rest. Just want to rest on his chest. That feeling is making me tired and old. Crying and begging to be loved. That pain inside killing me every day.
Am I asking too much from him? Is that making me, my body weak? A thousand questions no answers are what my life filled with. I am the bravest and strongest of all said my angel heart. But you are dumb and dead in love said my devil heart. You need to stand and show the courage, the strength you have that makes you and your life beautiful said angel heart. No, you are poor, and a beggar of love said devil heart. Now my heart is almost dead and no hope to live and zest. Fighting with love and angel and devil heart makes my heart dead. Please, someone, wake her up. Show that the world is beautiful and worth living said brain to the dead heart.
Here comes my king my God. Get up and see what life is offering you. He asked me to wake up from those bad dreams where I was living with a dead heart. Go, my child! Open your eyes the new day has started so as your hope. Love is waiting for you. And here I saw my family. Who loves me the way no one else can love me. They were crying for me where I used to cry for someone. Is this love which is not painful, not killing not hurting? Love of parents. Their blessings, their love is what took me out of death bed. No one else in the world and thousands of life can love you more than them. I just woke up from my painful dream in a hospital, where I was admitted after committing suicide. I did that because he did not love me not knowing the fact that someone else is dying to have me in life. It was a bad dream I was living with a dead heart.
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